I was traveling for almost 2 weeks for work and my first public speaking engagement, and returned home to an opportunity to attend a field trip with my 2nd grade daughter. I've always been extremely grateful and pleased with the opportunities to learn gratitude, humility, and how to connect with others that her school provides regularly, however, I am not sure I fully understood how critical these life skills are. Muhammad Ali once said, "Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth". I don't want my daughter to break the old lease of life, and certainly wouldn't want her to do so before I'm no longer the co-signer on said lease... "Life is about people, we are here to connect." I heard this in the advertisement for a Will Smith movie, seems legit. In the world of business leadership, emotional intelligence has been credited by many as a measure of future success, and is defined in psychology today as, "skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions and feelings".
A few minutes after jumping on the yellow school bus, dutifully finding sticky gum under my seat in the only section I placed my hand, and sitting in the way back of the yellow beast so as to fully test the suspension with my back, we arrived at an assisted living facility near the school. A gaggle of 2nd graders and their 7th grade assigned buddies piled into the center through the front door, packing cheek tiring smiles, candy cane reindeer, and hours of practice in carrying a conversation with the most senior of AARP members. Had their been a professional certification for these conversations, I'd guess these children would have all achieved high marks. Perhaps hours of practice with their own elders, the teacher led practice in school, and years of family induced cheek pinching, pictures, and fruit cakes had already prepared them for this moment. They were extremely comfortable and on a mission to connect. Every group of kids was broken into 3 or 4, and names were assigned of the residents who needed a visit.
My daughter and her two 7th grade buddies went to Bernice's room. It was beautifully decorated with a wreath on the door, smelled of cookies and pine from the wreath or the small tree on her nightstand, and the sweet tooth she told us she had. Bernice had a wonderful smile, was vibrant and happy, and was extremely grateful to have visitors this deep into her 90's. Bernice was a hoot. She proceeded to share with us some of the memories she cherished. The children dutifully asked questions to lead the discussion, and intently listened to Bernice recall the names of her family members who's photos were placed with gentle hands around her mirror next to her favorite rocking chair, and they patiently watched as she pointed and paused at several images who's name escaped her for a brief moment. The conversation bounced from stories of her childhood, the crucifix at the center of her wall, to gratitude for the visit, to discussion of the reindeer candy cane's googly eyes. My favorite part of the conversation was a brief moment when Bernice was struggling to remember our names and the names of several others in her photos. She paused on one of her pictures after furrowing her brow in mild frustration, she chose instead to smile, and then proudly declared, "I can't remember his name, my memory is a little squirrel, but I love all of them and you for coming to visit"
We found something special in our attempt to find the next room. As we walked down a hallway, we could hear singing. The kids smiled and moved confidently forward to find the noise. We emerged into a sitting area, and saw roughly 15 residents of varying degrees of engagement, singing silent night while one staff member led the group in prayer. The children could barely wait until the prayer was over to pass out their candy canes, Merry Christmas, and smiles. It was quite moving to see the residents interact and become excited to receive the attention of the kids for that brief moment.
I often wonder, if we taught children humility and gratitude in the same quantity and with the same fervor we teach them English, wouldn't we communicate with each other a lot better?
Bernice had migrated from her room and was in the lobby as we passed by, she did not stop wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and waving her reindeer at us. As we got on the bus, I heard stories of some of the residents sharing tears of joy with their visitors, and I couldn't forget the smiling eyes of everyone we met and the connections that were made.
So back to the question:
What do you get when you combine children, 60 candy canes, 60 brown pipe cleaners, and 60 pairs of googly eyes?
You get a little emotional intelligence training and you give a little light
Merry Christmas
Here is hoping you get or give your own candy cane reindeer this season,
bvd
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