What do you get when you cross a candy cane, a pipe cleaner, and a pair of googly eyes?

What do you get when you combine children, 60 candy canes, 60 brown pipe cleaners, and 60 pairs of googly eyes?

I was traveling for almost 2 weeks for work and my first public speaking engagement, and returned home to an opportunity to attend a field trip with my 2nd grade daughter. I've always been extremely grateful and pleased with the opportunities to learn gratitude, humility, and how to connect with others that her school provides regularly, however, I am not sure I fully understood how critical these life skills are. Muhammad Ali once said, "Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth". I don't want my daughter to break the old lease of life, and certainly wouldn't want her to do so before I'm no longer the co-signer on said lease... "Life is about people, we are here to connect." I heard this in the advertisement for a Will Smith movie, seems legit. In the world of business leadership, emotional intelligence has been credited by many as a measure of future success, and is defined in psychology today as, "skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions and feelings".

A few minutes after jumping on the yellow school bus, dutifully finding sticky gum under my seat in the only section I placed my hand, and sitting in the way back of the yellow beast so as to fully test the suspension with my back, we arrived at an assisted living facility near the school. A gaggle of 2nd graders and their 7th grade assigned buddies piled into the center through the front door, packing cheek tiring smiles, candy cane reindeer, and hours of practice in carrying a conversation with the most senior of AARP members. Had their been a professional certification for these conversations, I'd guess these children would have all achieved high marks. Perhaps hours of practice with their own elders, the teacher led practice in school, and years of family induced cheek pinching, pictures, and fruit cakes had already prepared them for this moment. They were extremely comfortable and on a mission to connect. Every group of kids was broken into 3 or 4, and names were assigned of the residents who needed a visit.

My daughter and her two 7th grade buddies went to Bernice's room. It was beautifully decorated with a wreath on the door, smelled of cookies and pine from the wreath or the small tree on her nightstand, and the sweet tooth she told us she had. Bernice had a wonderful smile, was vibrant and happy, and was extremely grateful to have visitors this deep into her 90's. Bernice was a hoot. She proceeded to share with us some of the memories she cherished. The children dutifully asked questions to lead the discussion, and intently listened to Bernice recall the names of her family members who's photos were placed with gentle hands around her mirror next to her favorite rocking chair, and they patiently watched as she pointed and paused at several images who's name escaped her for a brief moment. The conversation bounced from stories of her childhood, the crucifix at the center of her wall, to gratitude for the visit, to discussion of the reindeer candy cane's googly eyes. My favorite part of the conversation was a brief moment when Bernice was struggling to remember our names and the names of several others in her photos. She paused on one of her pictures after furrowing her brow in mild frustration, she chose instead to smile, and then proudly declared, "I can't remember his name, my memory is a little squirrel, but I love all of them and you for coming to visit"

We found something special in our attempt to find the next room. As we walked down a hallway, we could hear singing. The kids smiled and moved confidently forward to find the noise. We emerged into a sitting area, and saw roughly 15 residents of varying degrees of engagement, singing silent night while one staff member led the group in prayer. The children could barely wait until the prayer was over to pass out their candy canes, Merry Christmas, and smiles. It was quite moving to see the residents interact and become excited to receive the attention of the kids for that brief moment.

I often wonder, if we taught children humility and gratitude in the same quantity and with the same fervor we teach them English, wouldn't we communicate with each other a lot better?

Bernice had migrated from her room and was in the lobby as we passed by, she did not stop wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and waving her reindeer at us. As we got on the bus, I heard stories of some of the residents sharing tears of joy with their visitors, and I couldn't forget the smiling eyes of everyone we met and the connections that were made.

So back to the question:

What do you get when you combine children, 60 candy canes, 60 brown pipe cleaners, and 60 pairs of googly eyes?

You get a little emotional intelligence training and you give a little light

Merry Christmas

Here is hoping you get or give your own candy cane reindeer this season,

bvd

It's a winter wonderland

All yesterday evening, the news peppered Wisconsinites with bluster and fear of the impending snowstorm we received yesterday evening and will be continuing most of today. The weatherman on our favorite station was accurate, I have to give him credit, but he had a less than hidden dose of excitement coming through his eyes. It was a bit too much eagerness. I often wonder like an athlete preparing for a big match, if weatherman get psyched up for impactful weather events? Do you think they sit in mirrors doing tongue twisters about clouds while their producers coach them on how they can be better than the opposing weatherman on the other station? I can picture a grizzled veteran producer with coffee in his veins giving the talent the pep talk, "You got this Don, Ted on channel 6 defaults to polar vortex when the snowfall is over 6" and we all know the viewers like to hear about La Nina. Make me proud Don, win one for the Gifford tonight."

Weather prep was so intense, the Power Rangers cartoon was interrupted this morning, and you don't interrupt Power Rangers for anything unless it's more serious than their commercials for light up shoes and legos that shoot things. Wisconsin did not receive as much snow as some states, Ohio I heard received 30" in some places, and we all know Buffalo is giggling at the "light dusting" they consider 30" of snow to be. Fun fact, anything over 12" and you should suggest your maintenance department verify the structural integrity of your commercial flat roof at work, wouldn't want any snow falling on your heads while you shop Amazon during work hours the next few weeks.

As I prepare this morning to go outside and shovel, I get mildly excited learning that it's clearly light and fluffy, knowing less ibuprofen will be needed post shoveling for back soreness. However, it's how my daughters reacted to seeing the snow this morning that reminds me why it's critical for me to do my best not to screw up how my children already are, instead of trying my best to make them more like me.

My oldest awoke at 4:30 am because she was excited. When I was awoken at 6:00am, she let me know it was snowing outside, with a gigantic smile, kinda like the weatherman from the night before. When I finally rolled out of bed to get coffee, she rushed me to the window and squealed, "Dad, it's a winter wonderland outside!"

Like the weatherman who can't wait to get up and tell you about something they enjoy doing, I am reminded of the pure enjoyment children bring to new experiences, and how infectious that can be. After a 12 year run of having the same fake tree, my girls convinced us that we needed a real tree. So before the mini blizzard, we chose to secure our tree. Our experience yesterday morning to grab ours before the snow came was a little more work than plugging in the Ole Plastic Tree, however, the trip itself has become tradition. We now "cut your own", and found a nice sustainable tree farm which made the experience fun, with warm apple cider, a couple of kids who throw it on the roof of your car for you, and not too far a drive. Both girls carried the saw and the plastic tarp for dragging the cut tree with glee, excited to participate in choosing the arbor.

Dragging a tree half a mile back from cutting it to the car is not the first thing I'd choose to do, however, my children approached this experience like Al Roker approaches a storm front. Eagerly grabbing the rope, with their tiny gloved hands, and yanking until they couldn't drag it any further.

It's a lesson I hope to keep learning. Life is a winter wonderland, you just need to look at it through a joyful lens and get excited about doing rather than complaining. Merry Winter Wonderland my friends!


bvd

Dolphinette

In a survey of over 57,000 respondents in August of 2016, people were asked to choose the best Olympic summer sport. It was indisputable that volleyball was ranked 1st and dead last was "equestrian events". As a volleyball coach, I clearly understood why volleyball won, and to this day firmly believe that the instant transition in the sport from offense to defense has no equal. I also know, had the census been fair, the survey would have asked horses how they felt. Clearly, had some of the equines voted, equestrian events would have finished higher than last, even if they failed to get out the Pony vote. I won't go into the negative aspects of the blatant species-ism of this survey here, the country is still trying to heal. So it leaves me with no choice but to declare the second to last place finisher as the true worst sport in the Olympics according to this clearly species biased survey. The worst summer Olympic sport is therefore: Synchronized Swimming. I linked to the article because as we know, everything on Facebook is true.

While I may get some hate mail from this blog, I am looking forward to receiving beautifully decorated envelopes and cards piled in my mailbox in both a choreographed arrangement and exceptionally timed arrival.

Somewhere in a likely sweatshop in Arkansas, a screen printer who clearly lacks self respect, has chosen money over pride, and decided to print the shirt in this image above. First, the word, Dolphinette is not a Webster's recognized word. In other words, don't try it in scrabble. The picture of this female dolphin looks more like a pissed off Narwhale missing it's horn. I'd be mad too if I was forced to rotate upside down in the water with my toes pointed and my nose pinched shut to avoid water entry. I think we all can agree that water should only enter one orifice, and that's only when you are thirsty.

So my wife, in an effort to punish me for everything I've ever done wrong, has signed our oldest up for synchronized swimming and purchased this shirt for me. As I write this, I'm wearing it in a car on a 2 hour drive to a synchronized swimming meet listening to Christmas music while it's snowing outside. If that isn't waterboarding, I don't know what is.

My daughter got a 6th place ribbon at the last meet. I've never seen a 6th place ribbon in my life until that day. Why not 7th, did the Russian judge get bribed?

All kidding aside, I'm just going to shut up, golf clap when the rest of the parents do, and smile and ask my daughter if she had fun at this physical activity when it's over. There is a beauty to watching your child do something they like, even if that involves nose plugs and oysters (my daughter's favorite move)

I just passed a farm and saw several horses smiling. We were driving pretty slow, and I thought I saw one of them mouth the words, "Ed you won't believe what I just read, some guy had a shirt on that said proud..." The horses are laughing, man card revoked.

Enjoy

bvd