My oldest daughter celebrated her birthday earlier this month, turning 8 years old. I attached a 3 generation photo from dinner at the hibachi restaurant which helps explain why my children are blond, and clearly indicates that I got the shaft in the old gene pool of flowing manes. For reference, prior to obtaining my currently overcooked burnt popcorn color and more hair on my chest than my head, I formerly basked in the golden glow of a 90's bowl cut and had aspirations of growing a pony or a man bun. Shattered dreams pave the road of the follicular challenged.
Incidentally, in dog years where you multiply the age of your dog by a multiplier like the commonly believed but incorrect 7, to give you the equivalent in human years, you are able to gauge the maturity level of your canine friend fairly accurately. If you are interested in learning more about this, here is a link to an article describing where the myth originated and the information from the study. The oldest recorded living dog, Max, a terrier dachshund beagle mix, made it to almost 30 human years before deciding to head to the big doghouse in the sky. The study generated evidence suggesting that dogs age quickly in year 1, then subsequently their aging slows, and varies widely depending on breed and sizeTurns out as an example, a Schnauzer at the age of 1 human year, has the equivalent maturity of a 14.6 year old in "dog years"
I am sure this study done in the 50's, given inflation, would cost many millions to perform in today's dollars, and I have decided, as a dad with daughters, that there needs to be an investment to understand a different age to maturity ratio, that will help fathers everywhere.
Why does it seem all ages equal 14 for your own daughters?
Having just turned 8, every time I see her smile and hop into her booster seat, I picture having to drive a 14 year old to a middle school dance in my dad car hoping that it's winter so she is bundled up in a snowsuit and long underwear for the evening.
Every time she fails to listen to her mother, I picture the selective hearing of a 14 year old teen deciding that an eventual electronic takes precedence over her matriarch while her father prepares to intervene before another remake of "Clash of the Titans" occurs in my home. We all know sequels rarely ever turn out better.
When I get to listen to my 8 year old explain why she verbally lashed at her younger sister for being in her room and taking her toys, it's natural for me to imagine a 14 year old ripping a dress from her cat burglar of a younger sister who managed to extrapolate the one dress her sister would notice was missing, from a closet that couldn't fit a loose sheet of paper it was stuffed so full of garments already.
I'm resigned to the fact that this won't likely change, and the anecdotal evidence suggests that as she ages, my viewing lens won't alter much.
I've surmised when I see her at 18 or 20 studying for an exam, my default will be memories of lazy Saturday mornings reading together on the couch, perhaps picturing her reading Lord of the Flies or Catcher in the Rye
When she calls someday at 25 to talk about someone she met who melted her heart, Ill think back to some whispering conversation from the kitchen between a 14 year old and her mom, about a crush her dad wasn't supposed to hear about from the living room, but that her little sister was all so proud to document with some recording app on her phone and playback loudly while running around the house with her sister chasing her.
When she visits for a Christmas with her new family, and I see her slide her broccoli to the side of her plate, covered smoothly with some uneaten mashed potatoes and wink at me. I'll picture my 14 year old who used to wink with both eyes and a wide open mouth, to let me know she and I were operating on the same wave length.
I look forward to doing my own study on this theory of teen relativity. I have a feeling in the immortal words of Randy Bachman of Bachman Turner Overdrive, "You ain't seen nothing yet...."
Enjoy!
bvd
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