Today, however, I would like to broach the wildly divisive topic of Uno. If I lose some friends over this post, I am prepared...
In 1971, a barber named Merle Robbins, invented the game. He was playing "Crazy Eights" with his spawn, they began arguing over the rules. Merle, like most fathers about to lose to their children in anything competition related, changed the rules, and decided to invent his own game. He dubbed it Uno, dumped the families last $8,000 into manufacturing these cards, and then it became regionally popular over the next 10 years. Merle sold the rights for $50,000 in 1981, and I contend, would be turning over in his grave, not because of the money he missed out on after the sale and wild national growth in popularity, but because he knows they made an NSYNC and Backstreet Boys Uno version and attempted to destroy this man's personal legacy as an upstanding inventor of the second best family night game ever.
Merle, wherever you are, thank you and I'm sorry
My daughters 4 and 7, have become addicted to Uno. TV, nope, lets play Uno. Go outside to play, nope, lets play Uno. Time to go to bed, nope, let's play Uno.
Like a cage fight, a family plays Uno in close confines. One cannot stand across the room and play, you must be around the table to reach the pile. This makes trash talk particularly personal and in your face. When a 4 year old begins trash talking before during and after she places 3 draw 4's in a row, you feel the burn, and I don't mean the candidate that got slapped around by Wasserman Schultz. In my home, my 4 year old clearly wears the title belt, and we do not believe in letting her win. When she first started playing, I'd take joy in making sure she had more cards in her tiny mitts than she could hold. I have often described her as competitive, and Uno clearly is stoking this fire in her. Recently, my wife and the prodigy played head to head for 45 minutes, and my wife did not win a single match. Like Bobby Fischer probably did, she giggles like a madman while you come out holding 68 cards as she makes a "Did I do that" face and slams down her final draw 2 to rub it in, you don't lose too much self esteem. So thank you Merle, your work is laying the foundation for my offspring to enjoy competition. I personally feel that teaching a daughter that it is critically important to be comfortable competing is a crucial part of developing a strong child. If people approached life challenges the way most people approach Uno, a desire to win with no fear of failure, more could be accomplished.
Now the I'm sorry Merle.
I would like to apologize for the new "swap hands" card. It's a Karl Marx hatchet job on your creation.
If you have not played Uno in some time, the new "swap hands" card allows you when you play it, to take away the cards of any player you are playing against. Let that evil sink in. Through no fault of your own, after you have worked hard to keep your own cards secret from spying children, to plan and execute your meticulous winning strategy and have gotten to the final card, your piece de resistance, any player can hand you all their baggage and swap hands with you, robbing you of your effort. What is this world coming to and which ding dong at Mattel decided this was a good choice? Shouldn't the "swap hands" card be named the "Robin Hood" card. "Why not simply put in an "automatic win" voucher in the deck? What's next, a participation trophy for whomever comes in second?
Rip these up, I implore you! It may seem fun at first, the devious giggle as a child steals your win immediately after you rejoice with an "Uno". Are we creating a generation of kids who believe they deserve an automatic win voucher in life? Doesn't it also diminish that joy you got when you first beat your Dad in a game if everyone beats their Dad every time they play?
The deck can be stacked against you dad's, be careful out there in the new game of Uno...
Enjoy!
bvd
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